(2.5 months in, 37 pounds down)

Okay, so I had a pretty good feeling I was on the right track with this "rule of thumb" diet thing. But I wasn't going to expect too much.

I've done diets in the past, lost a quick ten or 15 pounds in a few weeks, then hit a wall. Then the weight would come off more slowly... too slowly for me to maintain my motivation to keep counting points or avoiding carbs or whatever.

Well, today is the one-month aniversary of the day I first announced what I was doing. At that point, I had lost the expected 15 pound in two weeks. Now, one month later, I'm down a total of 37 pounds. That's 22 pounds beyond the easy 15 pounds I always lose quickly.

As I type this, I'm sitting in jeans I haven't worn in about a year... and they're loose. And my new belt, which I bought, sadly, for a funeral two and a half months ago, is now in three notches from the first day I wore it. Two more notches and I'll need a new belt.

I've progressed from Part 2's example of having lost my three-year-old up a rung to having lost the equivalent of my 5-year-old.

And over the past two months, I haven't felt denied, guilty or bored by the process.

If you need a recap, here are parts 1 and 2:

Part 1: http://lefthandedwriter.posterous.com/getting-healthy-vs-losing-weight-part-1

Part 2: http://lefthandedwriter.posterous.com/getting-healthy-vs-losing-weight-part-2

 

It All Starts With Understanding Myself
The potion control and exercise are very important. But even more important, in my opinion, was taking the time to understand the ways I was sabotaging myself (especially with emotional eating) and coming up with new ways to deal with that stress.

I haven't even been as stingent about excericising as I probably should, but curbing the mindless snacking when I wasn't really hungry has had a bigger imact than I'd anticipated. I simply didn't realize how many empty calories I was consuming.

Of course, I've still got a long way to go. But, if things keep up at this rate, then I'm going to end up asking Santa for a whole new wardrobe instead of the usual books, games and gadgets that make up my list, typically.

And in the meantime, I'm going to add one more aspect to my "two handed" diet:

Applaude Yourself.

In the next part I'll take a look at the whole "Get Off Your Ass And Move" aspect.

 

So, we’ve already established that I used to kick ass, and I’m starting to kick ass again. I’m getting healthy. I’ve launched two new projects, one of which is already profitable. I’ve got a bunch of ideas itching to climb out of my skull. And then there’s NaNoWriMo. And all I’ve really done is start picking up some old habits that I’d let fall by the wayside. Those habits are what I want to talk about today. Dream Big Read those words again. One more time. Seriously, this is important. If you want a goal to drive you through the tough times and dry spells, it has to be really compelling. I can’t count the number of times I “just wanted to lost ten or fifteen pounds.” I did want to. Sometimes I didn’t succeed. Sometimes I did. But as I stated yesterday, I’ve lost 27 pounds in the last month or so. That’s because now I don’t have an “easy,” run-of-the-mill goal. My goal is to get in the kind of shape I was when I graduated high school. Back then I was marching, playing soccer, running five miles a day, running and playing in the woods. And it’s when I first caught the eye of the girls who would later become my wife. That means losing 100+ pounds. Daunting? Sure. But the payoff is so much bigger than just wanting to tighten my belt another notch. Back when I was kicking ass, I had a running list of “dreams.” More than 100 in each of four categories: personal development, toys/adventure, career/financial and contribution. That’s 400+ things I wanted to accomplish. At any given time I was actively pursuing four or five of them. I found that list a few months ago and looked over it and saw something surprising: while I was actively pursuing 4 or 5 at a time, I ended up accomplishing dozens of others without even realizing it. Just having written them down and reviewed them once or twice a month seems to have been enough to get my brain looking for the opportunities to make them a reality. So, I’ve started that list over again. I’m up to about 140 now. Let me stress that these aren’t goals, conventionally speaking. Remember the two words above, Dream Big. Without regard to reality or whether or not those dreams are technically possible. I may never make it to the moon or mars or even outer space. But I’d like to. So I wrote it down. With others, the thing that is standing in my way is something like money. I may never own my own helicopter. But I’d like to. And those sorts of dreams lie under the surface, driving me to push harder on my financial aspirations... not money for money’s sake... but to finance the kind of lifestyle I’d like to have. Try writing ten or twenty dreams of your own--- in each of these four categories--- for yourself. Then write an approximate timeline for accomplishing each one. This month? This year? The next five years? Before you die? Don’t worry about how you’re going to do it. Just admit you want to do it and give yourself a deadline. Review and add to the list every two to four weeks. GOALS Now, pick the four or five that are most important to you right now. Pull out an index card. On one side, write down what life is going to be like when you achieve this goal? Use as many sensory details as you can. The more real you make it, the more compelling it is going to be. On the flip side, write down the 4-7 main steps it’s going to take to get from where you are now, to the description you just wrote down, and a deadline for each one. Then stop. This is your goal. I am an avid planner. I like to plan out step-by-step how I am going to make my dreams a reality. But there is a problem. Shit happens. And when it does, my beautifully elaborate plan, form that point forward, is completely useless. The more time and energy I’d invested in that plan, the more this hurts. Sometimes I realize that I’m more in love with the plan itself than in the outcome itself. And the goal dies. There is just no more energy for it. So keep it loose. Identify the major steps in general terms, then stop. Let the outcome hold the energy that will drive you forward, and the steps give the energy direction. ROLES What you want to do and have are important. But they should not overshadow something even more important: who do you want to be? On Sunday, sit down and plan out your week... not in terms of what you have to do, but in terms of who you are going to be. Write down the roles you intend to play that week. For me it’s something like this: Husband, father, writer, entrepreneur, adventurer, son/brother, friend, healthy/fit person, child of God... the list of possible roles is endless. If you don’t decide who YOU want to be, then you’re leaving that responsibility to others--- or to chance itself. Write them down, in order of importance to who you want to be at the end of the week. Now you can plan your week and decide which goals to pursue and how hard. BATTLE PLANS. When you get ready to pursue a goal, pull out your index card for that goal, and another blank one. Write down the first milestone you have to accomplish toward that goal. Break that milestone down into 5 to 10 steps, including one thing you can do RIGHT NOW. Do that RIGHT NOW. Don’t wait until your battle plan is perfect, because it will never be. There is something you won’t be prepared for. There may even be a better way to achieve the result you’re looking for. Who cares? Momentum is what achieves goals, not effort. The faster you can build up forward momentum, the easier it will be. WARNING: YOU WILL FAIL*. I’m not being mean or trying to discourage you. Just trying to prepare you. You’re going to try something, and it’s not going to go the way you expected. Your effort at some point will crash and burn. *The secret, of course, is that it isn’t really failure. It’s just a bump in the road. If you have enough momentum built up, you’ll hardly notice. If you don’t, shrug it off, get up and start pushing again. You’ll get there, because there are only three steps to achieving anything you want: 1. Decide what you want and commit to achieving it. 2. Take unrelenting action toward that end. 3. Notice what’s working and what isn’t; change your approach accordingly. Goals, Roles and Battle Plans give you the flexibility you need to apply all three effectively. The plan isn’t important, the outcome is. [NOTE: I wrote the bulk of this this as a reminder to myself about two months ago. Most of this I gathered from a few different books I read during high school and college, most notably Dare to Win

, Awaken the Giant Within

and The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

. I figured I’d re-work it a little and share it with you. What do you think about this approach?]

Halloween is here. It’s even scarier this year than in years past because, as of now, I’m down 27 pounds.

To put that in perspective, I’ve lost the equivalent of my three-year-old. I hope we have lots of trick-or-treaters, because there are at least 25 pounds of chocolate lying around this house right now...

So, how did I come up with the “diet” plan I’m using? Back in college, when I was knee-deep in physiology and anatomy courses, I noticed that the human body held all sort of odd relationships. Some of these are well-known: your foot is roughly the same size as the your forearm, from your wrist to the inside of your elbow; your height is roughly equivalent to your “wingspan.”

But there are others, too. Your heart is roughly the size of your loosely closed fist. Your brain is about the size of your two hands clasped together, fingers interlaces. More pertinent to this discussion, your hands cupped together are about the size of the human stomach when it’s full, but not distended. Thinking about this lately, I realized three things:

1. This Consistently True
That is, my hands are the right size for my stomach. My three-year-old’s hands are the right size for his stomach. Your hands are the right size for your stomach. This makes it the easiest, most readily-available guide for judging your portion sizes. I don’t have to count points, work through any conversions, remember what day it is or what I ate earlier. I simply look at my food and ask is this bigger than my hand(s)? Now I know how much I can eat.

2. It Kind Of Makes Sense
I don’t want to make any wild claims, because I haven’t researched or really thought too deeply about it... but if you’re a recently evolved human wandering around the savanna hunting and gathering, and you’re limited to eating what you can hold, you’re unlikely to eat so much you can’t run from the lion that’s lying in wait for you in the tall grass. Or maybe not.

But it still makes sense to have a handy reference (I’m so very sorry for that) to use. Studies have shown that people are simply unable to gauge with their eyes not only how much they are eating. Plus, the brain doesn’t get the signal that you’ve eaten enough until 15 or 20 minutes after you’ve eaten. And at that point you still have another 15 or 20 minutes’ worth of food headed to your stomach.

I tend to be a fast eater anyway. I’ve noticed that, if I’m at a restaurant and end up cleaning my plate, I’m fine at first. But by the time we’re ready to leave, I’m feeling overstuffed.

3. It’s Hard To Get Away From
One of the biggest benefits I’ve found is that it serves as a built-in constant reminder. When I’m making a sandwich, spooning food onto my plate or grabbing a snack, my hands are front and center.

They are constantly reminding me of my goal, of the actual size of my stomach, of my choices if I’m not hungry, but merely bored or upset. Not that I never screw up and over-indulge.

But I have two strategies to help mitigate the damage when I do. First, as I mentioned before, I own up to the fact I’m breaking the rules, and let myself (but, as I mentioned in Part 1, only for three minutes.).

Second, I change my next activity session accordingly, pushing myself a little harder (or a lot, depending on how rough that three minutes was). This isn’t punishment for breaking the rules. I’m merely taking responsibility for my actions. I consumed the calories... I can either use them now or wear them later.

Again, I’m no doctor or nutritionist. I’ve never even played on on TV. But this appears to be working for me, and it seems more sensible than making a change that just isn’t sustainable for the long term (for me, anyway) like Atkins or Paleo. Next time I’ll elaborate on the rest of the system I outlined in Part 1.

So, this has been a busy week for me, from a writing standpoint, not the least of which is due to my preparation to launch Ascairt.com. I finished complete drafts of two stories (coming in together at 6,848 words), I completed six thirty-minute Fast Fiction writing exercises, resulting in 36... let’s call them “story seeds,” at an average of 500 words each (for a total of 18,000 words). And that’s on top of six posts for a couple of different sites. I haven’t actually kept up with the word-counts there... but I’d guess an average of 600 words per (so, another 3,600 words). So I’ve come in at a grand total of (a bit over) 28,400 words this week. Making a commitment to the daily Fast Fiction exercises has been the most helpful to me, in terms of creative writing. I’d forgotten how much discovery happens in the process and the slightly eerie feeling you get when an idea hits you out of the blue... one where you just can’t figure out its origins. You can start with a prompt and know exactly where you want to go with it, and yet, you get into a groove, build up some momentum, then look up and suddenly, you’re lost in the middle of unfamiliar territory with no idea how you got there. A character has taken on a life of his own and said, “no, no... let me show you what this story is really about. .” If you’re a writer, an aspiring writer or have just had an idea percolating in the back of your head for a while, I highly recommend it. Heck, I’ve been writing for a living for a decade now, often with insane deadlines, and 18,000 words from 30 minutes a day kind of blows my mind. If you want to join me, I’ve decided I’m going to start posting the prompts I use each day on the fan page. It might be fun to see what different directions our muses take us from the same point of departure. Head on over, like the page and let’s get started!  

A couple of weeks ago I promised you a new site to house the collection of my new fiction, which takes a bent toward horror and the surreal. Well, it’s ready. Check it out and let me know what you think. www.ascairt.com Also, for more behind-the-scenes action (and where I’ll post some work-in-progress and readers can choose which ones become actual stories), check out the Facebook page Ascairt: The Cellar Enjoy. And I’m serious. Let me know what you think!

Cling tooth and nail to the following rule: not to give in to adversity, never to trust prosperity and always take full note of fortune’s habit of behaving just as she pleases, treating her as if she were actually going to do everything that is in her power. --Seneca

That's all for now. Read here for a quick a primer on the philosophy of Stoicism (it's not as dry an solemn as you'd think [That was the Ascetics]),    

Okay, so I've started writing again. And by that, I mean writing stories. And, like I'm doing with this blog, I think I'm going to document my journey as a writer on a whole other site, which I hope to have up and running later this week. As I was taking a break this weekend, I got to thinking about writing as a craft. Aside from all of the courses I took as an English major, I've read countless books on the subject. For those who like to write (or would like to), I thought I'd list what I see as my favorite books on writing, as a process, as a craft and as a career. Before spending a lot of money on an MFA in creative writing, find a bookcase and clear of one shelf. Dedicate that shelf to the following list of books. These select books will be the equivalent of your one-shelf MFA in creative writing. THE BASICS: The Elements of Style by Strunk & White I have a caution here: this is a grammar primer. It is not the Holy Bible. I bend and twist the language. A lot. Usually on purpose. If you adhere strictly to Strunk & White, then I am guilty of crimes against the English language on a daily basis. Don't get me wrong. It's a good book. A useful resource. You need to know and understand the rules of grammar before you break them for effect. So buy it. Read it. Wait 30 days, then read it again. Then throw it in the trash. Or at the very least put it on a high shelf where you're likely to forget about it. When writing, your goal is to aim for the clearest, most effective communication possible. And sometimes proper grammar CAN get in the way. On Writing Well by William Zinsser If Strunk and White are the assembly instructions of the English language, On Writing Well is the users manual. Zinsser takes you through the process of isolating the core ideas, getting to the point and tightening the language you use to get that point across as succinctly and effectively as possible. Stein On Writing by Sol Stein This is an incredible how-to guide for taking your stories rough draft and turning it into a polished work of art. Sol Stein is an iconic editor and publisher. SoW takes his decades of helping writers find their voice, frame their stories and turn it into a journey the reader can help but accompany you on. The book is geared primarily toward fiction writers, but he also dives into non-fiction as well. ON THE CRAFT Wild Mind: Living the Writer's Life by Natalie Goldberg Okay, Goldberg is little too Zen-and-Xannex for me at times, but she's a good writer and an excellent writing coach. This book will help you mind your own past, present and imagination for the stories you need to tell. On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft by Stephen King Like his work or hate it (I personally like it), but you can't argue with the man's success in terms of publishing or winning a massive following. On Writing is King's memoir-cum-how-to-manual for finding your voice, getting committed and getting published. It isn't a "get published next week" sort of book. His is a tale of single-minded determination and perseverance. It will both encourage you in pursuing the dream and shame you into working harder. Fiction Writer's Workshop by Josip Novakovich This book is the closest thing I've seen to actually being in a fiction writing workshop that fit between two covers. The book takes you through a succession of exercises covering every facet of fiction writing, from plot and characterization to revising and polishing. THE PROCESS The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron In all honest, The Artists Way is actually a book about recovering from past trauma through artistic exploration. But then, at least in my experience, nine out of every ten artistic individuals I've ever had the pleasure to talk to--- or even heard talk--- admits that their art is driven at least on some level by some sort of pain in their past. That said, even if you are one of the one-in-ten that is driven by something else, this book is a great way to develop the habit of making time to write, discover the stories you want to write and give yourself permission to write a truly awful first draft in order to get to the story underneath. Fast Fiction: Creating Fiction in Five Minutes by Roberta Allen This is a book by another facilitator of writing workshops, and is a truly fascinating concept. The book is ostensibly about creating Flash Fiction... or short short stories (500-1500 words, depending on who you ask). But the process is applicable to writers of all stripes, because it aims to help you get past the internal censor and get an entire story on the page in 5 minutes. Yes, a timer is involved. Now, I very rarely get a full story out in five minutes. But in the process of writing as much as I can as fast as I can, I end up getting that surprise of "wow... where the heck did that idea/plot twist/character come from?" You sort of force yourself into that "this paper's due at 8 a.m. in the morning!" mode that most of us are familiar with from school. Not that I ever did that... 2011 Writer's Market by Robert Lee This is a book that is put out every year and is a massive listing of every publisher in the country. There are also several child-publications: the Novel And Short Story Writer's Market

, Children's Writer's And Illustrator's Market

, Poet's Market , etc. But what many writers don't realize is that they also come with helpful guides for writing, submissions, finding an agent and other "how-to" articles from prominent writers, publishers and agents, giving you a feel for the mood and trends in the market. AND THERE YOU HAVE IT There is my basic, go to list for the one-shelf MFA. I know what you're thinking: Save the Writer's Market, none of these books are that big. There is a lot of room left on my M.F.A. shelf! Any room you have left over, take your favorite personal reads... the books that really moved you... the ones you look at and say "man, I wish I'd written THAT!" Take them and read them, not as a reader, but as a writer. Dissect them. Reverse engineer them to figure out WHAT the author did to make you feel the way he made you feel. How she made that character jump off the page. Why that climax was so damn intense. Why the resolution tied up all the loose ends and STILL made you with the story wasn't over. It's all there. Your job as writer is to find it so you can create something as special to YOUR reader.

I'm down 15 pounds over the last two weeks.

I'm not trying to brag, really.... but I said I was going to document a few important changes I'm making. So I figured I'd tell you how I've been doing it.

To start, I'm just going to give the "how" as an overview. I'll fill in the "why" in subsequent installments (I promise there is a method to the madness based on LOTS of research and experience).

To begin with, I had to identify HOW I'd let myself get here. Turns out food is the vice I use in response to all sorts of negative states: stress, anger, boredom, disappointment, loss...whatever. It isn't even conscious at this point... it's pure habit.

That is a huge part of the problem. So any regimen to get healthy had to start with NEW habits to help deal with those states. I listed as many of the moods that triggered the impulse to snack as I could identify. For each I came up with four or five ways I could deal with those things besides popping open a bag of chips and vegging out in front of the TV.

With that out of the way, it was time to focus on the strategy and tactics. I've read and tried countless weight loss and fitness programs. In they end, they all boil down to three basic principles.

1. Eat Less
2. Make Healthier Choices
3. Get Off Your Ass and Move.

  Common sense, right? Here are my two core problems: First, I don't like to be told I can't have or do something. It makes me want to have or do it all the more. Second, I don't mind hard work, but I abhor a routine. So excluding things I enjoy from my diet, or  having a set exercise program or turning meals into an algebra session of points and fat and dietary fiber starts me off at a disadvantage.

So I started thinking back to the biology and physiolgy and heath courses I took in college...and I came up with a system of my own, using my hands as the reference guides. I'll explain why it works later, but for now, here's what I do.

 

1. EAT LESS 

• A single serving of meat = the size of your hand.
• So is a single serving of carbohydrates.
• Cup your hands together, fill them with "sides," and there's one meal.

Compared to portions at your favorite restaurant that looks tiny, right?

Depending on the restaurant and the size of your hands, their plates the size of small Baltic states will actually be enough food for two or three meals. It's probably even smaller than your dinner plates at home, if they were bought in the last ten years. That's part of the problem.

Luckily, the majority of you will always have your hands with you for easy reference. Oh, and there are times when I want a snack, not for emotional reasons, but because I'm actually hungry. If that's the case, then I'll snack... but again my hand is the rule of thumb. Nothing is off the list... chips, fries, M&Ms, candy, cheese and crackers, whatever... but only enough to fit in my hand (and ONLY when I'm actually hungry).

I get a handful, and I enjoy it, and I'm done.

 

2. MAKE HEALTHIER CHOICES
There are an unlimited number of choices (in addition to portion control) that you can make to incrementally increase the healthfulness of your diet. In keeping with my "hand" theme, here are the five I'm concentrating on.

• Make fruits and veggies 75% of my diet
• Drink LOTS of water
• Limit caffeine intake
• Don't go back for seconds
• Take time to consciously enjoy eating.

When these feel like habits and become second nature, I'll add new things to the list.

 

3. GET OFF YOUR ASS AND MOVE
Like I said, I enjoy being active... I just hate routine. So ANY highly organized fitness regimen just won't do it for me.

I'll get all excited when I start, but after a week or so i get bored with it, and motivating myself to get up and do it gets harder and harder. But there are things I really enjoy.

I love hiking and camping. I don't like waking up early, but I like BEING up early...going for a walk as the sun rises, watching and hearing the world wake up. I enjoy martial arts. I like paying soccer. And there are lots of things I haven't tried yet but I'd like to.

So my fitness strategy is to make a list of things I enjoy doing, and find or make time to do them, and to try to get at least an hour of activity every day.

 

I SCREW UP. A LOT.
I'm not going to obsess about this. Hell, it took me the better part of ten or twelve years to get here. I'm not going to delude myself that it's going to get better overnight.

I know I'm far from perfect. But I have some easy-to-follow guidelines, and some strategies to cope with the things that have made this difficult in the past. I'm sure I'll hit more obstacles. I'll figure them out and overcome them, too.

And it's not like I never get upset or bored and go for the chips.It's a habit that was decades in the making. But when I do, I don't say "screw it... I'll never be able to do this!" I give myself a little leeway.

"Okay, fine. You can enjoy your little pity party. But only for three minutes. You've got too much to do today."

So, yeah, I cheat. But accepting it and "failing" for three minutes is still better than ignoring it and mindlessly pushing chips into my mouth, or beating myself up (and adding to the stress and anger and disappointment that got me there, in the process).

In spite of those moments of weakness and my mistakes and the times I forget I'm supposed to be changing, I'm down 15 pounds from when I started two weeks ago, and I can tell a difference in terms of strength and stamina. I'm not about to run five miles... but it's a start. So what about you? Are you planning to make any changes to improve your own health or fitness?

It's been an interesting couple of months. There have been up and downs, I *tried* to quit copywriting (and mostly did) and I have launched a few new things that seem to be promising. Along the way, there has been a lot of self-reflection. And I had a very eye-opening realization about a month and a half ago. I used to, in the words of a friend, kick much ass. Not in a let's-take-this-out-to-the-parking-lot kind of way, but more of an "impossible? That sounds fun... let's do that!" vein. This purpose of this post is not to go through a list of my former awesomeness... but I made just such a list not long ago, and my immediate response was "where the hell is the guy who did all that?" And if I'm honest with myself, I got comfortable. I got complacent. And I think maybe I got a little tired of the whole "conquering" thing. But you know, something I learned as a biology major (longer ago than I care to admit): the minute you stop growing, you start dying. Nothing in nature exists in a static state. You're moving toward one extreme or the other. You're growing up or you're growing old. You're getting stronger or your getting weaker. You're flourishing or you're languishing. Me? I'm inviting the conqueror back in. I'm done languishing, done weakening... I'm nowhere near ready to roll over and die yet. I've got lots of irons in the fire right now, but few are as important as the ones I'll be documenting here at LeftHandedWriter.com. One will be getting back in shape (looking at myself now, it's hard to believe that I used to run five miles a day and spent two to three days per week training in Tae Kwon Do and Hapkido. Hell, I'm too smart to be this fat. And so I'm going to fix that. Second will be writing. Oh, I've been writing for a living for ten years now, sure. But I'm talking about the kind of writing that got me into it to begin with. Fiction with a bent toward horror and the surreal. I've got several stories in the pipe right now and will soon launch a site to showcase it. Third will be developing a stronger work/life balance. The last couple of weeks have been pretty work-intensive. Because of that, I've made a concerted effort to help ensure the time I did spend with my family was quality time. My goal will be to get business to the point where it ISN'T so intensive and I get to spend MORE quality time. Fourth will be a dedicated focus on redeveloping the philosophy of life as a grand adventure that used to drive me. Hell, that used to excite me! Perhaps it's no accident that the title of the first story I'll end up posting is entitled "The Dying of the Light." I refuse to go gently. I will rage, rage as long and burn as brightly as I can, a wild man chasing after the sun . So, that is what you can expect here... the documentation of my journey not to reclaim my lost youth, but to simply pick back up where I left off. Conspicuous success, physically, professionally, personally and playfully. I welcome you to walk the walk with me. Shall we...?